"Derby Party" - The Legend of Matt K.

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"Derby Party" - The Legend of Matt K.

Mike Fitzgerald
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This post was updated on .
"Derby Party" (Matt K.'s Theme)
by Mike Fitzgerald
(Parody of "Dirty Laundry" by Don Henley)

Matt K’s a runner with YPOM
He went to Louisville from Michigan
We all travelled down with him
For that Derby Party

Matt trained last summer for the Marine Corps
But he did not run there ‘cause he felt too sore
He really was just saving up for
That big Derby Party

Matt’s tearing up
Louisville town
Matt’s tearing up
Louisville town
Matt’s tearing up
Louisville town
Matt’s tearing up
The Derby marathon

He attacked the start line like a mighty force
At Churchill Downs they caught him racing a horse
He conquered that Kentucky course
‘Fore that Derby Party

Can we start the celebration at McLellan’s suite?
You know the boys in the hallway might go on a streak
Chocolate vodka’s such a treat
At the Derby Party



His sweetheart Christy made the long drive down
To watch him finish his first marathon
But he’ll go stag to the Male Prom
It’s a Derby Party

Matt’s tearing up
Louisville town
Matt’s tearing up
Louisville town
Matt’s tearing up
Louisville town
Matt’s tearing off
A “Runner Girl” now

Matt wanted to sing a Derby little tune
He headed toward the stage at “Howl at the Moon”
He lost his nerve, he did not croon
At the Derby Party

When he woke up that night I’m sure he had to think:
“I might have had a bit too much to drink.
Why am I underneath the sink?
What a Derby party!”

=============================================

Original Version

Dirty Laundry
by Don Henley


I make my living off the Evening News
Just give me something-something I can use
People love it when you lose,
They love dirty laundry

Well, I coulda been an actor, but I wound up here
I just have to look good, I don't have to be clear
Come and whisper in my ear
Give us dirty laundry

Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em all around

We got the bubble-headed-bleach-blonde who comes on at five
She can tell you 'bout the plane crash with a gleam in her eye
It's interesting when people die-
Give us dirty laundry

Can we film the operation? Is the head dead yet?
You know, the boys in the newsroom got a running bet
Get the widow on the set!
We need dirty laundry



You don't really need to find out what's going on
You don't really want to know just how far it's gone
Just leave well enough alone
Eat your dirty laundry

Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're stiff
Kick 'em all around

Dirty little secrets Dirty little lies
We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pie
We love to cut you down to size
We love dirty laundry

We can do "The Innuendo"  We can dance and sing
When it's said and done we haven't told you a thing
We all know that Crap is King
Give us dirty laundry!