"Duct Tape Girl" - Schmidty's Theme

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"Duct Tape Girl" - Schmidty's Theme

Tnova
Administrator
Duct Tape Girl
by Terranova and Fitzgerald
(Parody of "Uptown Girl" by Billy Joel)

Duct tape girl
She’s been running all around the world
She’s perky, bubbly and rarely eats meat
Bet you can’t guess how she protects her feet

I’m gonna root for the duct tape girl
Her blisters keep her hair in curls
In addition to all the standard gear
Body Glide, water belt around her rear
That’s what I hear

And when she signs up
She has a goal in mind
And when she wakes up
And thinks she’s on time

Her feet are not so tough
That is why
She is known
As the duct tape girl

You know I’ve see her in a drunken whirl
She’s downed more car bombs than a girl should take
No matter how hard her bed we try to shake
She won’t awake

Duct tape girl
You know we prefer it when you don’t hurl
But maybe someday in another place
You’ll know your limit and you will save face
You’ll run the race

And when she’s running
She’s barely revived
We think that’s funny
She somehow survived

Her feet are not so tough
That is why
She is known
As the duct tape girl

She’s been eating too much flax seed oil
As long as she remembered her t.p.
She won’t be pulling that tape off her feet
Out in the trees


=============================================

Original Version


Uptown Girl
by Billy Joel

Uptown girl
She's been living in her uptown world
I bet she never had a backstreet guy
I bet her mama never told her why

I'm gonna try for an uptown girl
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a downtown man
That's what I am

And when she knows what
She wants from her time
And when she wakes up
And makes up her mind

She'll see I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love
With an uptown girl

You know I've seen her in her uptown world
She's getting tired of her high class toys
And all her presents from her uptown boys
She's got a choice

Uptown girl
You know I can't afford to buy her pearls
But maybe someday when my ship comes in
She'll understand what kind of guy I've been
And then I'll win

And when she's walking
She's looking so fine
And when she's talking
She'll say that she's mine

She'll say I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love
With and uptown girl

She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a downtown man
That's what I am