"Johnny Lightnin'" - John H's Theme

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"Johnny Lightnin'" - John H's Theme

Tnova
Administrator
Okay, everyone might not be familiar with this song, but the title was too good to pass up.  When Lisa "Grease Afficianado" Mausolf gets back I'm sure she can sing it for us.  In the meantime, if you can download the original it is better to read it with the music playing.  I did some extensive editing to the original version that is included at the bottom so that is no longer R rated.


Johnny Lightnin'
by Joe Terranova
(Parody of "Greased Lightnin'" by Jim Jacobs and Warren Casey)

Why this dude is automatic
He’s systematic
A running addict
Why he’s Johnny Lightnin’ (Johnny Lightnin’)

He’s got some new Adidas shoes and a shirt so smooth oh yeah
(Keep runnin’, whoa keep runnin’)
A clean shaven dome doesn’t need a running belt oh yeah
(I could run like him, I would kill to run like him)
As he speeds on down the trail, he zooms past all of us snails
You know that ain’t no lie
He simply glides right on by
He’s Johnny Lightnin’
(Go go go)

Go Johnny Lightnin’
You’re leading us you never fail
(Johnny Lightnin’, go Johnny Lightnin’)
Go Johnny Lightnin’
You’re coasting through the Paint Creek Trail
(Johnny Lightnin’, go Johnny Lightnin’)
You are supreme
The chicks all scream
For Johnny Lightnin’
(Go go go)

How many races has he ran does he even know oh yeah
Pacing a marathon or pushing two young’uns oh yeah
Comes in second in a race, running in Argenta’s place
You know he never brags, even when he runs in drag
Johnny Lightnin’
(Go go go)

No Johnny Lightnin’
This season ended much too soon
(Johnny Lightnin’, no Johnny Lightnin’)
No Johnny Lightnin’
You slipped on that stupid balloon
(Johnny Lightnin’, no Johnny Lightnin’)
You’re laid up
Need a sippy cup
For Johnny Lightnin’
(No no no)

[Extended instrumental featuring Jim Jones and the YPOM Dancers]

No Johnny Lightnin’
Days spent watching the Oprah show
(Johnny Lightnin’, no Johnny Lightnin’)
No Johnny Lightnin’
That just leaves more women for Joe
(Johnny Lightnin’, no Johnny Lightnin’)
He runs in dreams
SiraGU screams
For Johnny Lightnin’
(Lightnin’, Lightnin’, Lightnin’, Lightnin’, Lightnin’, Lightnin’, Lightnin’)


==================================================

Original Version


Greased Lightnin'
by Jim Jacobs and Warren Casey

Why this car is automatic
It’s systematic
It’s hydramatic
Why it’s Greased Lightnin’ (Greased Lightnin’)

We'll get some overhead lifters and four barrel quads oh yeah
(Keep talkin', woah keep talkin')
A Fuel injection cutoff and chrome plated rods oh yeah
(I’ll get the money, I’ll kill to get the money)
With a four speed on the floor, they'll be waiting at the door
You know that ain’t no ****
We'll be getting lots of ***
In Greased Lightnin’
(Go go go)

Go Greased Lightnin’
You’re burning up the quarter mile
(Greased Lightnin’, go Greased Lightnin’)
Go Greased Lightnin’
You’re coasting through the heat lap trial
(Greased Lightnin’, go Greased Lightnin’)
You are supreme
The chicks'll scream
For Greased Lightnin’
(Go go go)

We'll get some purple french tail lights and thirty inch fins oh yeah
A Palomino dashboard and duel muffler twins oh yeah
With new pistons, plugs and shocks, I can get off the blocks
You know that I 'aint bragging, she's a real ***** wagon
Greased Lightnin’
(Go go go)

Go Greased Lightnin’
You’re burning up the quarter mile
(Greased Lightnin’, go Greased Lightnin’)
Go Greased Lightnin’
You’re coasting through the heat lap trial
(Greased Lightnin’, go Greased Lightnin’)
You are supreme
The chicks'll scream
For Greased Lightnin’
(Go go go)

Go Greased Lightnin’
You’re burning up the quarter mile
(Greased Lightnin’, go Greased Lightnin’)
Go Greased Lightnin’
You’re coasting through the heat lap trial
(Greased Lightnin’, go Greased Lightnin’)
You are supreme
The chicks'll scream
For Greased Lightnin’
(Lightnin’, Lightnin’, Lightnin’, Lightnin’, Lightnin’, Lightnin’, Lightnin’)