"Portajohn" - Mike's scary song

classic Classic list List threaded Threaded
1 message Options
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

"Portajohn" - Mike's scary song

Mike Fitzgerald
Administrator
"Portajohn"    (Not really a tribute, more of a Public Service Announcement)
by Mike Fitzgerald
(Parody of "Runaround" by Blues Traveller)


Once upon a CRIM last year, I finished up that ten mile run
Then I got in line at that post race tent, a free beer was there for everyone
Well I was thirsty and there was plenty to drink and I just could not say no
And when we walked out to the parking lot, very suddenly I had to “go”
Yeah I really really had to “go”

A portajohn then I did find
The lock was green there was no line
I opened the door to find a gal in there
She screamed so loud everyone could hear
She had to pee
But she scared me
To turn that key
Would’ve been easy

So girls… Why you won’t lock up the portajohn?
It’s a sure-fire way to freak me out, when you’re in there sitting down

At Disney and our group's running along at that half marathon
We’d passed a bathroom in the Magic Kingdom and I kinda wished that I had gone
I was just about to go off in the weeds and I’m telling you that’s the truth
But up ahead I could see a real big group of those little stinky green booths
A whole bunch of those stinky green booths

So I got in line and someone behind me
Says I think that one over there is free
Then I ran to the door and I’m here to tell
That lady sittin’ inside sure could yell
I got back in line
That blew my mind
There is no reason or rhyme
Will this happen every time?

So girls… Why you won’t lock up the portajohn?
Is it a sure-fire way to speed things up, Cause locking it would slow you down?

That night with our group I found myself speaking, I said I’ve got some news for you
This portajohn thing’s got me scared to death those women should have had a clue
All women may not heed my cry, at least now the ones in our group should
And in the marathon when I had to pee I was only going to use the woods
Yeah, I would only pee in the woods

Next day Jen came running next to me
She looked at me kinda sheepishly
She’d gone to the john and made a mistake
Forgot the lock, for goodness sake
I said “no way,
That’s not OK”
I guess today
That I still have to say

Oh girls… Why you won’t lock up the portajohn?
Or is it your idea of some sick joke?  I really really think that’s wrong

So girls… Why you won’t lock up the portajohn?
It’s a sure-fire way to freak me out, when you’re in there sitting down




=============================================

Original Version


Runaround
by Blues Traveller


Once upon a midnight dreary, I woke with something in my head
I couldn't escape the memory of a phone call and of what you said
Like a game show contestant with a parting gift I could not believe my eyes
When I saw through the voice of a trusted friend who needs to humor me and tell me lies
Yeah humor me and tell me lies

And I'll lie too and say I don't mind
And as we seek so shall we find
And when you're feeling open I'll still be here
But not without a certain degree of fear
Of what will be
with you and me
I still can see
things hopefully

But you… Why you wanna give me a run-around
Is it a sure-fire way to speed things up, When all it does is slow me down

And shake me and my confidence about a great many things
But I've been there I can see it cower like a nervous magician waiting in the wings
Of a bad play where the heroes are right and nobody thinks or expects too much
And Hollywood's calling for the movie rights singing hey babe let's keep in touch
Hey baby let's keep in touch

But I want more than a touch I want you to reach me
And show me all the things no one else can see
So what you feel becomes mine as well
And soon if we're lucky we'd be unable to tell
What's yours and mine
 the fishing's fine
And it doesn't have to rhyme
 so don't you feed me a line

But you… Why you wanna give me a run-around
Is it a sure-fire way to speed things up, When all it does is slow me down

Tra la la la la bomba dear this is the pilot speaking and I've got some news for you
It seems my ship still stands no matter what you drop and there ain't a whole lot that you can do
Oh sure the banner may be torn and the wind's gotten colder perhaps I've grown a little cynical
But I know no matter what the waitress brings I shall drink it and always be full
Yeah, i will drink it and always be full

Oh I like coffee and I like tea
I'd like to be able to enter a final plea
I still got this dream that you just can't shake
I love you to the point you can no longer take
Well all right okay
So be that way
I hope and pray
That there's something left to say

But you… Why you wanna give me a run-around
Is it a sure-fire way to speed things up, When all it does is slow me down

But you… Why you wanna give me a run-around
Is it a sure-fire way to speed things up, When all it does is slow me down